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Naughty SMS Collection
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Schoolgirl: I do not want to the Sex Education.
Teacher: Why not?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me the final exam wud be ORAL
Desk-top is what u do with the Secretary in the office;
Lap-top is what u do with the girlfriemd in the room;
Palm-top is when u r without them and alone
Q: What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
A woman who aroses a man and leaves is called a Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same called?
A Moisturiser
Which is the smallest hotel in the world?
VAGINA INN. It can accomodate only one standing guest with his luggage hanging outside...
What do deer and women have in common?
The Hornier, the better !!!
Important Chinese sayings:
1) If u don't like oral sex then keep ur mouth shut.
2) Opinion is like an asshole, everyone has one.
3) To avoid rape, say YES
Boss to his secretary: Book my ticket for London, aur suno mera naam D.K. Bose likhwana, varna Airport pe mera naam BhosDK announce hota ha
One agent was tensed.
Dealer: Kya hua?
Agent: Main 6 mahine se tour pe hoon, aur meri biwi pregnant ho gai.
Dealer: Ab pata chala bina order ke maal aaye to kaisa lagta hai...
What's common between Suicide and Masturbation?
Khud-Kushi & Khud-Khushi.
A newly wed couple went to CM for aashirwaad. CM said: Hum CM hain aur CM kabhi aashirwaad nahin dete, sirf udghatan karte hain.
If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.
A gal to black boy: Tum itne kaale kyon ho?
Boy: Agar kala hoon to ismein tumhare baap ka kya jaata hai?
Gal: Agar mere baap ka gaya hota to itne kale na hote.
Gay to his partner in the morning: Aap naraaz hain humse?
Partner: Nahin.
Gay: To phir raat ko meri taraf muh kar ke kyon soye the?
In a rape trial the lawyer asked: Did u scream for help?
Girl: Yes Sir.
Lawyer: Did anyone come?
She shyly replied: Yes sir, first I did, then he did.
Height of reality: An actress being fucked by a producer without using a condom saying that she has to play the role of a pregnant lady in his next movie.
Boss to a lady during interview for the post of secretary: What's the diff between Paperclip & Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paperclipped.
Pehlan usne chunni utaari, phir kameez, phir undershirt te phir bra utaari aur aakhir mein... salvaar bhi utaar layi.
Fer...?
Fer ki si taar khaali ho gayi.
Teacher comes to class with a rose in her blouse & asks: What does Roses drink?
Boy: Milk
Teacher: No, roses drink water.
Boy: Oh, I didn't know the stem is that long.
Madam: Billu, kutti de enne bachche kyun hu jande ne?
Billu: Madam tussi vi sadak te nange ghumoge te tuhade vi ho jaan ge
Gals: Inspector ji Munde tang karde ne.
Boys: Eh ilzaam jootha hai Inspector saab, assin tang nai karde, khulli karde ne.
Duniya mein sab se himmat wala kaun?
Dhobi- kabhi bhi kisi ke ghar jaa kar bol sakta hai sahib bibi ji ko bolo kapde nikal kar rakhe mein abhi aa ke leta hu.
A boy & gal of LKG class asked teacher: Kya chote baccho ke bacche ho sakte hai?
Teacher: No.
Boy said to gal: Bas dekha! Tu aise hi dar rahi thi.
Ek ladki ki t-shirt pe likha tha “93.5 Red FM”
To batao uski pant par kya likha hoga - Bajate raho
Kya hoga agar Pepsodent wale condom banaye to....??!! Hona kya hai?! Raat Bhar Dishum Dishum !
What's the diff between a Lollipop and a Penis ?
The Lollipop gets smaller with each lick and PENIS gets bigger with each lick.
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