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Naughty SMS Collection
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Ek Sardar doosrey Sardar sey bola:
"Bivi aur ghari mey kya faraq hey?"
doosra Sardar bola:
"Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai......
Doosari bigarti hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai"
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!
2 Reasons Why I Should go to School
Early one morning, a mother Sardarni went in to wake up her Sardar son.
Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto
Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai
See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Santa: Raat film vich ik chudail kade mere aggey, kade mere pichchey...
Jeeto: Kehri film si ?
Santa: Apne Shaadi di movie si !
Santa: I got old age pension by showing grey hair on my chest.
Jeeto: Pant ki zip khol ke dikha dete to Disability Allowance bhi mil jaata
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai
3- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes
2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
1- Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai aur pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata
Aaj Tak" gets news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows:
Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading. The train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up...
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