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SMS Jokes Collection
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Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it
A very old lady teacher of English
ask this question with the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
What is BUSINESS ?
Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: then Ok.
Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad:Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President:No
Dad:He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That’s business…!!
Before Marriage:-
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!
After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..
A
B
C
D
A-AATRACTIVE
B-BEST
C-CUTE
D-DEAR 2 ME
E
F
G
E-EXCELENT
F-funny
G-GOOD LOOKING
H
I
J
H- HA HA HA
I- I M
J- JOKING
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney
Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto…:D
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……
Thats why boys go to college
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.
A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
He decided 2 kill himself & his wife.
Apne kaan pe pistol lagai aur bola-
tu khush mat ho agla number tera hai!
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche..
Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever
Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins!
AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other
Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy .
Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing.
Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are.
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI.
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