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SMS Jokes Collection
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Shoaib Akthar sent his thunderbolts whizzing past Ganguly
and the wicket-keeper for boundary byes from every ball of his opening over. The captain Shoaib Malik said, 'I think I'll rest you for a while.'
'You can't do that,' said Akthar. 'I've just bowled a maiden over.
'Women like that are a luxury I can't afford at the moment, Shoaib,'
acidly replied the other Shoaib.
Although it isn't generally known, there was once an industrial
dispute during a test match at the Eden Gardens.
As a result of it, the Indian batsmen became
the first ever union to come out on a non-strike.
The Indian captain, Dhoni was in despair at his side's fielding.
Match after match, they dropped every chance that came their way.
Finally one day the captain called his men together
and told them that he was taking them fishing.
What for? they asked.
'To make sure you catch something this season!'
Rahul 'The Wall' Dravid had been at the crease for two hours
and had scored one run. Rival team players were getting impatient,
and so was the non-striker batsman.
It finally got too much for the umpire as well.
He raised his finger and said: 'Out'.
'What for?' said the batsman puzzled.
'Delaying the match with intent,' answered the angry umpire.
India's one-time dashing batsman, Sehwag had a high opinion
of himself and was very free with his advice to the captain, Dhoni.
'You know,' he said, 'You've picked two men who should never be in the side.'
'Oh really,' said the captain icily, 'and who's the other one?'
The cricketer was visiting the psychiatrist.
Cricketer: 'It's terrible. I can't score runs, I'm a terrible bowler,
and I can't hold a catch. What can l do?
Doctor: 'Get another job.'
Cricketer: 'I can't. I'm playing for India tomorrow!'
The ever nervous Ganguly was having a terrible time facing Akthar
and was lucky to still be at the crease.
During a lull, he stammered to the wicket keeper,
'Well, I expect you've seen worse players.'
Silence....
Ganguly repeats 'I said I expect you've seen worse players.'
'I heard you the first time. I was just trying to think.' replies the Wicket keeper.
In a Ranji Trophy match, the batsman was out first ball.
'Not like last week,' said the wicket-keeper.
'No,' said the batsman.
'Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back all the beer was gone!'
An expectant father rang the hospital to see
how his wife was getting on.
By mistake he dialled the number for Lord's.
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Fine," came the answer,
"We've got two out already and hope to have
the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck.
'I can't understand it,' said the captain.
It was such an important game that I bribed the umpire and yet we still lost.'
'Terrible, isn't it,' a bowler agreed. 'It's getting so you can't trust anyone.'
A cricket enthusiast had three trays installed in his office
labelled 'In' , 'Out' , and 'L.B.W.' .
A visitor remarked as he could see
the significance of 'In' and 'Out' but what did 'L.B.W.' mean ?
And the cricket enthusiast replied : "Let the Buggers Wait."
The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket.
"We'll win, we've got all the cricketers," said the Angels.
"But, we've got all the umpires!" exclaimed The Devils.
Mrs Jones : I'd like my son to be excused playing cricket.
I don't think he should mix with that sort of person.
Teacher: How d'you mean?
Mrs Jones: Well; I distinctly heard him say that
the man in the white coat was a vampire!
Q. What did 10dulkar say after the India-Australia match ?
A. Shaken but not stirred ....
Q. What did 10dulkar say after the India-Pakistan match ?
A. Massacred but not killed....we're not worried.
Q : Why Mhd.kaif wasn't get any chance eventhough having enough potential ?
A : Because he is from Luck 'no'
The eager young batsman had just scored yet another duck
and was apologising to the captain.
'I think I could do with some advice.
What sort of coach would you recommend?'
'A long distance one.'
The game was drifting off into total boredom,
when a man in the crowd suddenly burst into a round of applause.
The man next to him said 'Why did you do that?'
'Sorry' he replied 'I was trying to keep myself awake!'
'I'm very nervous about my first game for this team.' says a young cricketer.
'Why?'
'Well, they might all be great players.'
'Don't worry. If they were any good, they wouldn't be playing with you!'
Two old cricketers were talking in the club.
'What was your highest score?'
'A hundred and ten not out.'
'Mine was a hundred and twenty not out',
and what was the most number of wickets you took?'.
'Oh, no. This time it's your turn to go first.'
In a calmer moment, Bhola and his wife were sitting at home.
Bhola was as usual reading some bowling averages.
'Do you remember the day you proposed at the cricket match?'
said she romantically. 'You were bold.'
'No I wasn't,' muttered Bhola,'I was LBW!'
Sidhu during his school days..
Teacher : Correct the sentence, 'A bull and a cow is grazing in the field'
Young Sidhu : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
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